Features / The Whiteboard Project

Features// A Punk Rock Guide To Valentine’s Day

So here it is, the one time of year that invites an annual tradition of boyfriend forgiveness, with a bunch of cheap flowers and a bag of Cadbury’s misshapes: making up for all of those Black Ops hours of social isolation. But if you’re one of those that feels the urge to kick cupid right in his smug little face and smash the hell out of February’s festive isle, then look no further…

We all know that love is a constant trending topic in the music business, but every now and then, the odd anomaly comes along. Generally in the exploitative form of ballsy punk rock from The Avengers to Zebrahead.

So rather than sitting home alone, flicking through television channels in a desperate attempt to come across a channel that isn’t broadcasting a slushy rom-com containing Hugh Grant, why not head out to one of the many punk gigs being put on across the land? Discovering an environment where you can dance and drink your cares away, or find yourself on the administering end of habits that have, so often, nearly ruined all of our evenings.

Whether that be the hurling of pint glasses that rain substances that we can only hope to be some form of beer, or clambering your way to the no-man’s land that divides the crowd from the iconic shrines of popular music, whilst upsetting a fair deal of punters on your journey?

Hot picks include…

Birmingham, O2 Academy2: Your Demise

Norwich, Waterfront: The Bronx

London, XOYO: Pure Love

Meanwhile, we’ve compiled a guide to a punk-rock Valentine’s Day, with five tracks certain to make you raise a finger to good old Saint Valentine…

New Found Glory – My Friends Over You

Proper Warped Tour pop punk about the dilemma of affable loyalty put up against tricky relationship calamities. Equipping satirical humour to the tale that we’ve all heard before, about guys putting bro’s before hoes.

The Vandals – My Girlfriend’s Dead

A bittersweet tale of an all out lie, avoiding the embarrassing fact that the protagonist has, officially, been cast into the singles’ bargain bin. But the whistles alone plummet the song in to pop-punk anthem territory, not to mention the matter of fact lyrics.

Green Day – Good Riddance (The Time of Your Life) 

Intentionally written as a cordial track about Billie Joe Armstrong breaking up with his girlfriend. Perhaps the most spirit dampening of the bunch, presented as a somber acoustic tale of honesty, citing the breaking of love and eventual acceptance, as you stretch your eyelids to reduce those post-breakup tears.
The Misfits – Die, Die My Darling

A psychopathic burst of anger from the legendary horror punks, harshly wishing death upon the protagonist lover, purveyed through Glenn Danzig’s shredding trucker vocals, that later went on to influence Metallica’s James Hetfield. Accompanied by fierce, staccato power chords, each sounding and feeling like a fatal stab to the chest.

The Buzzcocks – Ever Fallen In Love?

 

Perhaps one of the world’s most famous punk songs, since dabbling in the mainstream, having been used in countless adverts and TV/film backdrops. Bestowing a narrative of unsuited love, allegedly written about one of the band member’s hushed homosexuality, set to fail from the very start, which is in itself pretty disheartening and slightly Shakespearean. Combining crashing guitar riffs with swooping fills and a stadium worthy chorus, recognisable by just about everyone.

So there you have it, another year of slushy valentine’s lovey-dovey fodder, can be clearly overridden by an anarchic punk attitude!

Jonathan Hatchman.

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